here, kinda

I'm not dead yet!!

Sun, 18 May 2008 22:18:02 GMT

*shuffles in slowly with head hung*

Wow. 3 months. I suck. Hard. Anyway, enough about my many talents, on to the blogging!

So, what happened when I fell of the earth? Well, I *sucks in deep breath* lost my job, lost my computer, got a new job, got a new computer, worked too many fucking hours, saw Semi-Pro, joined Netflix, still worked too many fucking hours, mourned the loss of all good television, rejoiced the very brief return of some good television, watched New Amsterdam cause the guy in the commercial was hot and the show actually turned out to be kinda cool, saw Harold and Kumar sequel and wished I had some pot, saw Iron Man and rejoiced in the full-on assault of awesome, went on a cruise, celebrated my 4th anniversary, got all dorked up for American Gladiators and lost 35 pounds!!

That was a long breath.

All in all it's been a busy spring, and I feel really badly about disappearing without any warning. I miss all of ya'll and hope I'll be able to pop in a little more often. Unfortunately, I used to do most of my posting at work and I can't really do that anymore, but maybe I'll just have to focus on quality instead of quantity. In other words, I'll try not to suck.

Of course, there won't be much good television to talk about this summer, cuz all summer TV is shit, but...there's other stuff in life besides TV right? Or so I've been told.

The importance of wearing underwear with leaves on them.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:00:38 GMT

I have pictures of me, my sisters and my neice reenacting the best part of this video. Except we're wearing real clothes. And we're not Japanese men. The pictures can be displayed or destroyed for the right price. Let the bidding begin!!

The Cabin and why Gob is the greatest character EVER

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:25:57 GMT

Ah, TV boyfriend. Nice

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:35:00 GMT

I totally gakked this from keldjinfae_moon

Yay Jim! You are totally and forever my TV boyfriend. I'm so excited. I don't think I could've done better if I tried. It looked to me like the other options were Peter Petrelli (Heroes), Chuck (Chuck), Dean Winchester (Supernatural), and *vomit* McDreamy (Grey's Anatomy).

Excuse me while Jim and I run off and get married and have lots of babies.

(Except he should be eating ham and cheese sandwiches every day. Stupid quiz writer.)

ETA: I may have made up the word "gakked." If I did, I trademark it. Anyone who wants to use it must send me a written, notarized request along with a nickel for each anticipated use. A nickel, not $0.05. Therefore, if you are planning on using "gakked" 20 times, send me 20 nickels, not a dollar. Thank you in advance.

ETA: Oh, and I also trademark all tenses and uses of "gak". So "gaks" "gakking" "gakkified"--all mine. And each a nickel. Thanks again.

One "bad" show that I think I love, and one "good" show that I just might hate

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 13:28:31 GMT

Okay, the strike is officially killing me, ya'll. I've been watching a lot of DVDs and random reruns that I've seen 8 million times, but not much else. I think the strike may also be affecting my taste levels, because watching TV last night, I had two completely different reactions to the programs.

First up, American Gladiators. It is probably the cheesiest thing I've ever watched, and I love every minute of it. Well, not every minute. The forced trash talking is just plain stupid, and I would punch Hulk Hogan in the head if I could get away with it, but apart from that, it's awesome! People falling, bleeding, wearing makeup as they're jousting--it all rocks. I think my all time favorite moment was when one of the Gladiators, Toa, did this weird little war dance before a match, and the contender just stood there and stared at him like he had grown a second head. Beautiful.

I do feel completely guilty for loving it, though. I keep telling myself "You are a relatively intelligent person with some level of taste. You need to stop watching this crap. Watch PBS or something with a little educational value." Then something happens onscreen and my brain immediately goes "DUDE! That was awesome. And Crush is pretty hot. I wonder if my hair would look good like that?" Sigh. I really hate myself sometimes.

I guess what it really comes down to is "What is the value of pure entertainment?" Most of the shows I watch are ones that encourage me to think a little about what is going on, whether it be solving a mystery, or trying to determine what the next step will be. Of course, American Gladiators does neither, rather, it appeals to the Neanderthal part of my brain that just sits and watches. And as much as I might hate myself for that, is it really so bad to just let my brain rest for a little while and soak in a little bit of stupid? Maybe, maybe not. In the meantime, American Gladiators is going into it's Final 8 next week, and you can bet that I'll be sitting right there cheering on the contenders.

The second show we watched was Lost. Ever since he bought the season 3 DVD a few weeks ago, my husband has been determined to watch the entire season before the premiere on Thursday. And I'm starting to get a little sick of it. I've been watching Lost ever since it started, and at first, I absolutely loved it. I was a huge fan on a level close to my current love of Heroes. My love really started to slip during season 2 when the focus turned from survival to mystery. During the first few episodes of season 3 (when Sawyer and Kate were in the cage--yawn) my love dipped to a new low. The show did start to turn around in the later episodes of the season, and the finale really started to return my love. Until the last 5 minutes.

I have never been more pissed off at a show as I was during the last 5 minutes of the Lost season finale. It left me with such an awful taste in my mouth that has only increased with time. I won't delve into the details of it, but it pretty much ruined the show for me. One of the most powerful weapons that a show like Lost or Heroes has is the ability to make you believe that they could kill off any character at any given time. And Lost just destroyed that for at least two characters in those 5 minutes, and will continue to do so for other characters this season.

The worst thing is that the two characters who have been granted a free pass for the series are the two I hate the most! In the beginning, I found Jack to be merely annoying, and Kate to be vaguely interesting. Now I can't get through a single episode without angrily growling "Shut the fuck up, Jack", or "Jesus Christ, Kate, GO AWAY!!!" Watching last night's episode (which was "The Man Behind the Curtain", a pretty good episode), I actually started to get so angry that I felt my face getting hot. Somewhere along the line, Lost has turned all of it's focus on to the 3 (4 if you count Juliet) most annoying and 2-dimensional characters on TV: Kate, Jack, and Sawyer.

I am going to continue watching the show, though. Mainly because my husband loves it. But also because they do have some very interesting characters that I'm constantly hoping will get more screen time--namely, Desmond, Jin, and Sayid. If I only got to get one of those three, I'd probably go with Sayid. He is one of the most intriguing characters on any TV program and Naveen Andrews really brings him to life. ~~Also, he is totally hot.~~ It's an absolute shame that he is so rarely used on the show. A shame and a waste.

Also, for as much as Heroes is getting crucified for misuse of minorities, Lost has done the exact same thing. They have taken a diverse and multi-cultural cast, and filtered it out to the 3 "pretty" white people (none of whom I actually find attractive). Screen time with any of the minorities is limited, at best, and the show has already eliminated three blacks and an hispanic. (Only two of those characters actually died, and one of the two who survived will be returning.)

Anyway, I will watch the show when it returns on Thursday. Until then, I will be honing my "reach through the TV and kill someone" skills that lead to Simone's death last season. Maybe I can find a way to kill Jack after all.

Let's make my journal happier

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:32:34 GMT

My journal is such a sad place lately. Like an abandoned K-mart. Wait, isn't any K-mart an abandoned K-mart? Anyway, here's a list to brighten it up around here.

23 Words that I Need to Use More Often

1. swoon
2. alabaster
3. pernicious
4. magnesium
5. imperious
6. indubitably
7. copacetic
8. nolens volens
9. ephemeral
10. tenebrous
11. sobriquet
12. avarice
13. insouciant
14. exacerbate
15. cack
16. defenestrate
17. exculpate
18. polyglot
19. malodorous
20. specious
21. titivate
22. hubris
23. guv'nah (misspelled for pronunciation)

I realize that if I actually used all these words on a daily basis, people would think I'm a freak. Or an elitist asshole. Or both. But they are pretty awesome.

Pop Culture Round-up

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 13:33:46 GMT

Wow. Two weeks into 2008 and this is my first post. That's...sad. And this year has sucked balls.

So, 'what has inspired my first post in a fortnight?' you ask. Well, a couple of movies I saw this weekend and the Golden Globes. Not that I actually watched that Golden-Globes-press-conference-thingy. I just read about the winners on ew.com. (Please forgive any confusing structure in the following post. I may have forgotten how to write in the last couple of weeks. Or my brain exploded.)

First up: one of the movies I saw this weekend was Juno. It was...cute. I mean, I liked it and all, but it wasn't ground-breaking or anything. Of course, my opinion of it may be tainted by a movie I watched on HBO that morning which was excellent. (More on that later.) Anyway, it was funny and kinda sweet and I enjoyed it. However, I'm not sure if it is really deserving of major awards like Golden Globes and Oscars. Best Picture awards should go to movies which encompass the best in filmmaking, movies which display excellence in the entire moviemaking process. Not just the script, acting and score, but also editing, directing, camera work, and the sound production. Juno did not display all of these characteristics.

Why?

Because of one scene which had a boom mike in the shot.

I'm going to try to justify myself here because I think I'm in danger of sounding way too critical.  Having a boom mike in a shot of a widely distributed movie is a failure on behalf of the editor, the director, the cameramen, and the producers. Also, it kinda feels like a slap in the face to the audience that we are expected not to notice something like that. It takes us out of the movie and back into the real world. It reminds us that Juno MacGuff is actually Ellen Page, who is reading words off a page and wearing a pregnancy suit.

So Juno didn't win any Globes last night and I'm not upset about that.

Who did win? Well, Sweeney Todd (deservingly) beat out Juno for Best Musical or Comedy, and Johnny Depp won! I'm very happy about that. I've heard some people say that Ellen Page got snubbed by losing Best Actress (Musical or Comedy) to Marion Cotillard, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Not that I've actually seen La Vie en Rose, but Cotillard was playing a real person (singer Edith Piaf) who was an alcoholic who lived a very tragic life and died in her 40s. Ellen Page was a teenager who got pregnant.  It seems to me like one of those roles requires a lot more dedication than the other. (Yes, I am being a bitch here.) Plus, aublilsis did see La Vie en Rose and assures me that Cotillard brought it (not her words). I think that most people who are saying that Page was snubbed are not familiar with Cotillard's film or have some bias against foreign language films.

Other winners:

Cate Blanchett - Yay! I'd totally be lesbian for her. She is that awesome. And she was playing Bob Dylan. How fantabulous is that?

"Guaranteed" by Eddie Vedder won Best Song. If this is the song I think it is, than it deserved to win. It is muy beautiful.

David Duchovny - Seriously?? Over Alec Baldwin and Steve Carrell and Ricky Gervais and Lee Pace? Seriously?? I mean, ANYONE else would've been better. (Disclaimer: Californication is the only show out of those 5 that I don't watch. I just have trouble believing that Duchovny is better than all 4 of his contenders. I dare someone to prove otherwise.)

Extras wins Best Comedy - I'm okay with this. I might have been more excited if Pushing Daisies had won, but I love Extras and 30 Rock also, and I think all 3 shows are equally deserving.

I didn't have much to say about the movie nominees and winners this year because I've seen so few of them. However, I did see a movie on Saturday morning which should have been a major contender for awards last year.

It's called Children of Men, and it was completly fantastic. I was blown away by how cohesive the film was. Okay, that probably doesn't sound like much of a complement, what I'm trying to say that every element of this film was excellent to the utmost degree. For those of you who may not be familiar with Children of Men, it takes place in the year 2027, and no children have been born for 18 years because all women are infertile for some unknown reason. The plot is riveting, the actors really bring the characters to life, and the film just sucks you in. The two things about the film that really stood out to me, though, was the attention to detail and the camera work.

With most films that take place in the future, it feels kinda...fake. This one, however, created a totally believable future through the attention to detail. The cars most of the characters drove were stylized in an advanced way, but they also had different colored panels (as if parts had been replaced from other cars), were missing hubcaps, and broke down several times. In one scene, a character was wearing a beat up and faded "Olympics London 2012" shirt. And none of it felt fake at all. It felt like a real and accurate depiction of the future.

The camera work in the film was unparalleled. Nearly every action shot was done in one continuous take with the camera following around the characters. I cannot even fathom the level of choreography required to make this possible. The effect was that the action scenes flowed very well, and really put the audience in the shoes of the characters. It made it seem as though we were really a part of the movie. In order to really appreciate this, I think that you need to see the film, because I am not really capable of describing it.

Okay, ending my long review of Children of Men here, but I think you can easily see why Juno suffered in comparison.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone! Please tell me what you think of Juno or Children of Men and if there are any Globe winners/nominees that I should be sure to check out before Oscar time.

Year's over? Already? I want a do-over.

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 23:18:58 GMT

Alright, so just 6 hours left in the year here, and I had a SoCo and coke and decided to give you this:

23 Things I Didn't Do in 2007

1. Lose 20 pounds
2. Win Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay
3. Train my dog to attack people with ugly pants.
4. Get a haircut. (seriously, I have not gotten my hair cut at all since September of 06.)
5. Go on a cruise *sob*
6. Watch American Idol
7. Attempt to fly by jumping off the roof
8. Correctly predict Oscar winners across the board, sweeping the office Oscar pool.
9. Succeed in not becoming crackily, overwhelmingly obsessed with Heroes.
10. Ween myself off of bad TV
11. Stop Drinking
12. Never once pine for a little bit of pot.
13. Stop using words like "dude", "awesome", "totally", "word" and "right on".
14. Finish my college degree
15. Learn a foreign language
16. Star in an infomercial on DIY Home Sex Tapes. I play the Astonished Co-host.
17. Ask my mom for advice.
18. Write the Beard Pwns Mom crack!fic that I had promised aublilsis
19. Slap someone across the face
20. Fall to my knees, look up, and scream "NOOOO!!!!!" while shaking my fists at the sky
21. Think that Mohinder is way more smart than pretty.
22. Regret moving out of Orlando.
23. Write an elaborate scientific theory based on the idea that dinosaurs were magical mind-readers who killed themselves when they looked into the future and saw an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Happy New Year to all! See ya on the other side.

This just in: Sweeney Todd is Win!

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:34:03 GMT

So, aublilsis and I went to see Sweeney Todd yesterday, and it was incredible. Mind you, it is definitely not a movie that everyone would like, but we both really enjoyed it.

The violence was really stylized, with fonts of blood that were too red spurting everywhere. I can see that being a problem for some. I didn't mind all the blood, but there was one other death (which I won't spoil here) that really haunted me. I kept going "STOP SHOWING IT!! STOP SHOWING IT!!" I also think that the singing might bother some people. They played down the musical aspect in commercials, but it was packed with songs. I'm not familiar with any of the previous stagings of Sweeney Todd, but it doesn't seem like they left out very many songs. Also, it was based on a Stephen Sondheim musical and the songs were very typical of his style. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Sondheim, but he also wrote Into the Woods and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. His musicals tend to have a very rapid cadence, with words being sung very quickly, often with multiple characters singing different tunes at the same time. It's incredibly beautiful, but can also be a little confusing.

But I loved it. It was dark, and funny, and kinda creepy, but incredibly well done. All of the casting was right on. Johnny Depp was perfection, and he sang really well. I was surprised. I would put his singing on par with Ewan MacGregor in Moulin Rouge, perhaps even better. I'm going to buy the soundtrack so I can listen again, most especially to "My Friends" which he performed beautifully. Helena Bonham Carter was excellent, too. Her singing was kinda breathy and a littly flinty, but it really suited the character. The guy who played Anthony was a little creepy, I thought, and I don't know if he was intended to be that way.

I would highly recommend this to anyone who loves musicals and gore. Surely you'll never find a better combination of the two.

Oh, and if you do go to see it, do not look directly at Sacha Baron Cohen (Signor Pirelli)'s pants. aublilsis made that mistake, and she could not look away.

I suck, that guy over there sucks, this week sucks...you get the drift.

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:51:29 GMT

So much suckage lately. Anyway, working on two different Lists of 23 right now, but I'm having a hard time focusing. It's all Christmas' fault. Damn you, December 25th, for wrecking my whole month! *shakes fist furiously* Work has been making me want to pull my hair out, too, mostly because I have to deal with some dumbass motherfuckers who like to blame their stupidity on others. They suck, too.

As I said, got two different Lists going on, so if anyone wants to give me some ideas for people who need to be shot in the head, or totally imaginary reality shows that are better than American Idol, please do so. Sometimes it's really hard thinking of 23 things, and my brain is ever so tiny.

By the way, I've already patented the idea for "Stupid Baby". Please do not submit anything with a similar concept. Thank you.

In case you are wondering, yes, the Black Eyed Peas do suck. And West sucks, too. Forever. And Ever.

Post-Christmas Round-up

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:14:12 GMT

A late Merry Christmas to all! And Happy Kwanzaa to...none. I mean, does anyone really celebrate that? I've never actually met anyone who does. I really wish we had Boxing Day here, though. What a fantastic idea! I got home around 10 last night and was thinking Damn, I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. Wouldn't it be awesome just to have a day to clean up all of your Christmas shit and play with new toys? The answer is yes, it would. I would turn around and go home, commencing my own Boxing Day celebration, but the street in front of my house is flooded, and I just barely made it out of there in the first place. That makes me sad. How 'bout a poll? Everyone loves a nice poll.

View Poll: You know you want my poll

I've been absent from lj for awhile, what with all the brain-eatage of Christmas. (I may have just made up the term "brain-eatage." If I did, I trademark it. No one else can use it unless they give me a quarter.)

My weekend consisted of:

-crazed last minute shopping
-drinking
-watching non-traditional Christmas movies including: Die Hard, which I watched for the first time (please feel free to tell me what a loser I am in the comments.) and Edward Scissorhands, which I watched for the millionth or so time (please feel free to tell me what a loser I am in the comments.)
-cleaning house
-doing laundry
-drinking some more
-sloppily wrapping Christmas presents
-making liquor store run
-really seriously last-minute Christmas shopping

Yesterday was my first Christmas with the family since 1998. Here's how it went:

-got up and stuffed stocking
-watched Empire Strikes Back (I'm tired of watching A Christmas Story and there was nothing else on. Besides, Empire is the best of the Star Wars films.)
-drank coffee *cough* Irish *cough*
-opened presents
-drank
-ate
-went to parents' house
-drank more
-ate more
-watched Young Guns and Young Guns II, quoting most of the dialogue with aublilsis. Sadly, it was AMC, so they were both edited. (And don't ask me why AMC thought it was a good idea to show cowboy films on Christmas Day. And really don't ask me why AMC thinks that Young Guns and Young Guns II are movie classics.) Even more sadly, they edited out my favorite part of the first one! "Hey dog, dog, did you see the size of that chicken?" OOH! I found it! Check it out. *happy sigh* That's why I love YouTube, for random shit like that.
-ate
-drank
-got really bored so I ate some more
-mom got pissy so we gave her a drink
-big sis finally arrives, so we started opening presents. And drank some more.
-got some really great presents and the kids were super cute
-ate dinner
-had discussion re: Poo vs. Poop. The term "Shat" came out victorious.
-drank more
-commandeered Guitar Hero III that aublilsis and I had purchased for my dad and nephew. Big sis, aublilsis and I proceeded to rock the fuck out for at least an hour. My excuse is that they'll have it forever, but we were only there last night.
-went home, listened to husband bitch about the rain at least half a dozen times
-slept, eventually

So that was my happy holiday. I hope everyone had as great of a day as I did. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it earlier, please feel free to tell me what a loser I am for being able to quote YG and YGII. That will be my ECotD for Boxing Day. My belated justification is that I was a pre-teen when it came out, and love to memorize things anyways. Ramification? My friends think I'm a loser.

Also, whenever I say "drink" I do mean "consumed an alcoholic beverage." However, despite all of that drinking, I am not the one who received a corkscrew set, wine glasses, a wine bottle chiller, and a bar set for Christmas. When my husband suggested a poll on who the family alkie was, my mother did nominate me, but that actually makes me feel better, because anyone who knows my mom knows that she is always wrong. I would've been much more worried if she had said that I was definitely not an alkie.

PS. lj is an asshole. I tried to post this the first time, and it deleted half of my post! Not even the first half or the last half, the middle half! Kiss my ass, lj.

Shaking off my apathy so that I can be happathy

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:59:14 GMT

Christmas is less than a week away, and I’ve been trying hard to shake off my Christmas apathy, which has been carefully cultivated through the years. You see, this year will be the first Christmas since I was 16 that I’ll be off and able to see my family on Christmas Day. I didn’t build up the apathy deliberately, but years of treating Christmas like just another day has led to it feeling like just another day. I’m hoping that if I purge some of those Christmas memories here, I can shake this off and embrace Christmas this year.

Childhood Christmases - My mom is a Christmas freak. She always put up the Christmas decorations on Thanksgiving Day, after dinner, and left them up until after New Year’s. She would play Christmas music constantly for the entire month. We only had a few Christmas CDs, though: The Carpenters, Alabama, and Amy Grant are the ones that I recall. The Carpenters were such a staple of Christmases growing up that Karen Carpenter’s voice still reminds me of Christmas, even when she’s singing "Superstar" or "Rainy Days and Mondays". But not "Close to You", because that reminds me of The Simpsons. (“Why do birds suddenly appear?/Over there? Over here?”)

The problem with the Christmas freakiness was two-fold. First, the older I got, the more I was annoyed by it, and often I was already sick of Christmas by the time the day actually came around. Secondly, my mother would stress herself out over Christmastime every year. She would either get sick, or fight with my dad, or, on very special occasions, do both. Usually the stress lapsed over into my birthday, so I got to where I didn’t much like my birthdays, either.

1997 - I got a job at a movie theater, so I had to work on Christmas Day. This would just be the first of many. I didn’t really mind working that day, although I was surprised by how busy it was. I had no idea that so many people went to the movie theater on Christmas Day because it had never been a part of my family’s tradition. In our Christmas photos for that year, I’m already wearing my uniform while opening my presents, since I was rushing off to work as soon as the wrapping paper hit the ground.

1998 – Another year at the movie theater, this time Aubrey was working there as well. I don’t remember a whole bunch about this one, except that we worked fairly late that night so that we were able to spend quite a bit of time at home that morning. I do remember that I didn’t feel quite as alone about it this year, since I got to spend Christmas at work with my sister.

1999 – A lot happened between this Christmas and the last. The plant my dad worked at shut down, and he was transferred to another plant 500 miles north in the early part of the year. For several months he lived up there and came home on his days off. In June, my mom and Aubrey moved up to join my dad at his new job, and my older sister and I lived together while we went to school. At the end of the summer, she graduated college and decided that she wanted to go live with Mom, Dad, and Aubrey. I had a choice: to move up as well and lose my scholarship which was full, but for in-state public universities only, or make a go for it on my own. I chose the latter, but decided that if I was going to be alone, I wasn’t going to do it in the town where I had grown up. I moved a hundred or so miles south, where one of my high-school friends was living and going to school.

Anyway, that Christmas finds me working at yet another job for a place that is open 365 days a year in a town where I know only a few people. I didn’t really mind working Christmas when the alternative was to sit at home alone. Truthfully, I don’t really remember anything about that Christmas, except that I was once again surprised by how many people weren’t spending that day at home with their family. This time, instead of spending a few hours at a packed movie theater, though, they were traipsing around a packed theme park with their families in tow. I always wondered how those kids felt about opening their Christmas presents in a hotel room.

2000 – This Christmas made no impression on me whatsoever. I don’t even remember what I did, though I do think that I got to see my family a few days after Christmas this year. Anyway, I worked again this year, same locale as the year before. Yawn.

2001 – I spent this Christmas working outside with a bunch of stupid go-karts that I had to de-ice in the morning. Also, I think that my finger was broken at the time, so I spent much of the day standing outside of the attraction answering questions with a big claw on my hand. It was Suck.

2002 – Christmas at Space Mountain. This was actually kinda fun, especially since the ride was broken down for most of the day. So we just hid inside the building most of the time, and took turns going out to deal with the angry people. Not too shabby.

2003 – Another Christmas at Space Mountain. Unlike last year, this one blew. I spent a good portion of the day working the single worst position ever: Merge Point. Basically, what this person has to do is stand within a few feet of the ride near the end of what would be on Christmas Day a 2 hour plus and stops you from getting on the ride. “Why?” you ask. Well, because of Fastpass (aka Satan). So I have to stand there for several hours on Christmas Day, making people wait while dozens of people speed right past them and onto the ride. Nothing makes me happier than to be cursed at on Christmas, when you just really want to go home. Surprisingly, though, this is not the worst Christmas. That prize goes to 2004.

2004 – Worst. Christmas. Ever. (or at least so far. For me. I’m sure lots of people have had worse ones.) This Christmas was spent on Main Street, U.S.A. doing crowd control. And if you think crowd control on one of the busiest days of the year sounds bad enough, let me elaborate: it was Parade Audience Control (PAC). On a normal day, PAC is an annoyance which involves telling people where they can and can’t sit or stand and preventing people from running out into the street to join the parade and getting run over by a float. On Christmas, PAC is nothing short of a complete pain in the ass. This particular Christmas turned out to be an all-new kind of ass pain.

This Christmas, for what was the first time in a very long time, the first of the two daily parades commenced at the exact same time that the pre-taped parade was airing on the East Coast. The implications of this weren’t fully understood by me immediately. The park opened at 7:30, an hour and a half earlier than usual, and, much to my surprise, some people immediately took up positions along the parade route for the parade which wouldn’t start until 1:00 (at least I’m pretty sure it was 1 this year, might’ve been later). I stopped by to talk to a couple of middle-age ladies who had taken up prime position on the train station platform with a couple of lawn chairs. They were from Ireland, and were waiting to see Mariah Carey. This was when I knew how bad the day would be. I explained to them that Mariah Carey wouldn’t actually be in the parade, but had been there 3 weeks earlier when the parade had actually been taped. Luckily, the ladies were very nice about it, but were incredibly disappointed. This was just the first sign of what was to come.

Another thing to note about this Christmas is that it was on a Saturday, and was an incredibly dreary day marked by constant drizzling rain. You know the kind, it just hangs around all day and makes you completely miserable. Of course, it also meant that many of the outdoor attractions were closed. The other PAC coordinator and I got our crew to set up all the ropes, tapes and poles that normally dictated the parade route on Main Street with the rain drizzling down. Since it was such a busy day, we did this hours earlier than usual and prayed that the rain would stop. It didn’t.

As the time for the parade approached, and the rain kept drizzling down, I listened intently to the radio for updates on the status of the parade. At first, they just kept delaying. Finally, 10 or 15 minutes after the parade was supposed to begin, the Entertainment folks accepted that they had been beaten by the rain and cancelled the parade. I got this news on the radio just a few minutes before it was announced on the PA to the many people lining the parade route. That meant that I was able to get myself and the rest of the PAC crew the hell out of Dodge. And thank god, because when that PA went out, the crowd went nuts. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before, not even when Space Mountain broke down the year before, and we had to send people out of the building who had been waiting in line for a couple hours. There was an eruption of protests from the crowd who refused to believe that the parade would be cancelled when it wasn’t even raining that hard. (For the record, it was cancelled because the ground was just too slippery for the parade floats to safely navigate the route. And by “safely navigate” I mean “not spin out of control and into a sea of onlookers”, but good luck trying to explain that to thousands of very angry people.) The loud yelling coming from thousands of people was scary enough, but what happened next was even more frightening. The crowd started stampeding in one of two directions: to City Hall (aka Guest Relations, aka the People You Yell at if You are Very Angry) or to the exit.

The crowd rushing up the steps to City Hall was chanting “Raincheck” over and over. You see, these people expected that they should be given a raincheck to come back to the park for free another day since the parade was cancelled and the outdoors rides were closed. That was not gonna happen, no matter how much chanting and shouting they did. The people filled City Hall to the point that, for the first time ever (according to one friend I had working there) security had to come and force the people out of City Hall and close and lock the doors for several hours. Needless to say, I was very happy that I didn’t work in City Hall for that.

However, what I had to put up with wasn’t much better, for we had to mobilize the PAC crew to control the mass exodus from the Magic Kingdom. The people were exiting from the park in such large numbers that it was reminding me of the wildebeest scene in the Lion King, and I was Simba. All I could think was I don’t want to die wearing pleated pastel blue pants. So we had to quickly manufacture a plan to allow the exiting people to leave with minimal interference while not running over the people who were entering the park. It took about an hour for the madness to die down. In that time, the park’s attendance plunged by about a third. That’s around 20,000 people. It was a nightmare.

By the time all of that mess had been cleared up, it was nearing time for the second scheduled parade to start, and it was still raining. This time, the Entertainment managers recognized that the parade could not go on well ahead of the scheduled start time and started devising an alternate plan. They ultimately decided to do this: have a motorcade version of the parade in which many of the parade characters rode in covered vehicles supplied by Main Street Attractions (aka Us) while other characters danced in between the vehicles. The vehicles, though old, were much better equipped to handle the slippery roads. The only problem was that there are very few people who are certified to drive the vehicles. Those people were a few select Cast Members, Main Street Attractions Managers, and Main Street Coordinators (aka Me). That’s how I ended up driving a jitney up the parade route hoping against hope that I wouldn’t accidentally mash the gas and run over Goofy. It was a neat experience, even though I can’t for the life of me remember who was in my car. I know there were some candy cane girls, and maybe Mickey? Or Pluto? Yeah, I think maybe Pluto. I was really hoping that no one would take a picture, though, because I was soaking wet and wearing pastel blue pants, a pastel striped shirt, and a purply-blue fleece jacket. Despite the decent end to the day, it was still the Worst Christmas Ever.

2005 – Having finally learned my lesson from previous years, I had an office job this Christmas, and our office was closed! Except this Christmas fell on a Sunday, which was the day that we had to finalize everyone’s hours from the previous week before noon in order for the paychecks to be printed, which meant that I had to work on Christmas. Again. I worked from 4:30 in the morning til just after noon, though, so it wasn’t too bad. And with the office closed, there was just me and one other girl in there, so it was very quiet and peaceful. Not a bad day, all told.

2006 – Another office job, and this time I got to be off on Christmas! Except that I had to work the day before and the day after, so I couldn’t go visit any family. I really needed this Christmas off, too, since my job this year was scheduling, which meant that I was the bitch who made everyone work on Christmas, so everyone kept calling to curse me out. Needless to say, I hated this job. Anyway, I get Christmas off and get to stay at home with my hubby. This Christmas turns out to be freakin’ hot, though. We actually had to turn the air conditioner on because it was over 80 degrees outside. I remember that I spent a good portion of the day sitting around in just my underwear because I couldn’t find my summer clothes.

2007 – I don’t know what this Christmas will hold, but for the first time in years, I get to have dinner with my family, and for the first time ever, my husband gets to be with us as well. This will also be the first year that I get to see my niece and nephews open up their presents from me (I always had them shipped in the past). I’ll be excited about it, as soon as I finish my shopping.

Thanks for allowing me to purge a bit. I think it really helped, especially since I've been so busy that I started this on Sunday, and am just now able to finish. Phew. You can also help me feel better if you have any Christmas stories worse than mine. Anyone?

The Dark Knight trailer

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 19:28:23 GMT

For those of you who, like me, loved Batman Begins, the trailer for The Dark Knight is here. I think that it looks pretty good. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman are all still around, and Katie Holmes has been ~~upgraded to~~ replaced with Maggie Gyllenhall. (But seriously, what an excellent replacement. I think that Katie Holmes was the biggest problem I had with Batman Begins, she just seemed out of place.) Also, odds are good that CB will take off his shirt at least once, so I'm there! (Sorry, fangirl moment.)

I'm not really sure what to think of Heath Ledger as the Joker yet. He looks completely awesome, and the voice is appropriately crazy enough, I'm just hoping that it's not the same ole re-tread of the Joker. One of the things I like about Batman Begins was that it put a new twist on characters that we were already familiar with, I hope they do the same with the Joker.

The bat-cycle is kinda lame. I wish they would just stick with the Batmobile and not try to impress us with new gadgets every time. Le Sigh.

ETA: *sobs*

I thought of a list of 23 on my day off! Woot!

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 20:24:52 GMT

Okay, so in what is surely to be an incredibly stupid move, I'm posting this prior to Christmas and my birthday. Sigh. I'll miss those presents, but I think this post will be totally worth it. Besides, who can be angry when there is plenty of Mo love? Yes?

Well, here goes...

23 Reasons Why Oscar

is better than Polie

1. Oscar has never been mistaken for a girl.
2. Oscar doesn't need to be groomed, so his owner can use that money to purchase shoes.
3. Oscar has never been mistaken for a cat.
*meow*
4. Polie has a sharp, pointy tongue which he shoves directly up a person's nostril as a form of aggression.
5. Oscar has never gotten poop stuck in his butt hair.
6. Mr. Muggles taught me that all fluffy dogs are evil.
7. Oscar has a deep manly bark that resembles that of a dog twice his size. Polie sounds like a squeeze toy when he barks.
8. Worse nickname from Crazy Old Lady, "Oskie Boscar" or "Polie Olie Olie"? Okay, this one might be a draw.
9. Yoda ears trump bat ears
10. Because everyone loves a weiner! Dog, I mean. Yes, dog.
11. If I learned anything from WWII, it's that German beats French. And that Hitler's an asshole.
12. Oscar is a dachsund, which means "badger hound." He was bred to go into burrows and kill those evil little badgers with sharp pointy teeth. Polie is a papillon, which means "butterfly." They can...flap their ears and make it rain in China??
13. If you don't love Oscar more, it will make him very sad.

14. Oscar is named after delicious hot dogs.  Napolean "Polie" Bone-apart is named after a diminutive French emperor who had his dick cut off post-mortem. You be the judge.
15. See above pun.
16. Polie sheds white hairs all over your beautiful new clothes, making it look like you've just come back from shaving Santa. Oscar never sheds. He considers it to be a sign of weakness.
17. The dachsund is the sixth most popular breed of dog in the U.S. Papillons are 35th.
18. There is such a thing as too cute.

Oscar maintains appropriate levels of cuteness.

19. Polie's tags jingle when he walks, which bothers some people. *cough*mentallyunstablepeople*cough*
20. Polie has been known to attempt to crash vehicles by dangerously placing his head on the driver's hand, or on the steering wheel. Oscar sits in his crate and whines to alert you to the constant danger of driving.
21. Anyone who thinks that a white dog is better than a black dog is racist, sir. RACIST!!!
22. Oscar gets revenge on Crazy Old Ladies by pooping on their floor and humping their dogs.
23. Who likes to rock the party? Oscar likes to rock the party.

Rebuttals?

Things I Really Shouldn't Be Thinking About When I'm Supposed to Be Working...Some More

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:57:27 GMT

It's Friday! So, of course I'm working really, really hard, as evidenced by the following collaboration between my lil sis (aublilsis) and myself:

23 Beer Grades

23. Natty Light – F- (yes, I know there is no such thing as F-, but there should be. Especially for Natty Light.)

22. Bud Ice – F-

21. Icehouse – F

20. Bud Light – F

19. PBR – D-

18. Mich Ultra – D+ (Tastes like water, but at least it’s low-cal)

17. Budweiser – C-

16. Miller Lite – C-

15. Yuengling – C

14. Heinekin – B-

13. Corona – B-, w/lime – B+, w/lime and tequila – A+

12. Killian’s – B-

11. Sierra Nevada IPA – B

10. Blue Moon – B, w/orange – A-

9. Stella Artois – B+

8. Bass – B+

7. Red Stripe – A- (Yay Beer!)

6. Foster’s – A-ustralian for Beer.

5. Sam Adams Cherry Wheat – A

4. Boddington’s – A

3. Guiness – A (A+ if it’s St. Paddy’s Day and the beer is green with a shamrock in the foam.)

2. Amberbock – A

1. Turbodog – A+ (It’s very strong and very dark, like Taye Diggs. Except he’s more hot than strong. And you really shouldn’t drink your beer hot. That would be way gross. Maybe it’s not like Taye Diggs at all, I just wanted an excuse to link you to this picture.)

Now I know that I am definitely going to have to have a drink when I get home. Mmmm...Beer.

Golden Globes

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:16:55 GMT

Golden Globe nomimations were released yesterday, and my reactions were as follows:

Yay!

Pushing Daisies gets 3 noms: Best Comedy, Best Actor (Lee Pace), and Best Actress (Anna Friel). Oh, Pushing Daisies, I so love you. I know that a lot of people think that PD is just too cutesy or something, but it has a wicked sense of humor, and Cheno or Sylar's mom (aka Ellen Greene) occasionally burst into song. My love for PD grows more every week, and I've found that it's a sunny spot in the middle of my week. Unfortunately, with the strike going, I might not get any sun for a long time.

Donald Sutherland gets nominated for Dirty Sexy Money. Strange thing to gush about, I know, but as much as I love Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland is the best part of this show. He manages to take flowerly lines and what are often soapy plots and just sell them.

30 Rock gets 3 noms: Best Comedy, Best Actor (Alec Baldwin), and Best Actress (Tina Fey). Sometime last season, 30 Rock snuck up on me and surpassed The Office as my favorite comedy. I was overjoyed when it won the Emmy, and am glad that it is continuing to get recognized.

Extras gets 2 noms: Best Comedy, Best Actor (Ricky Gervais). Admittedly, I don't love Extras as much as I loved The Office (original version), but it is still one of the best shows out there. I am mystified as to how Gervais is able to only make 6 episodes a season, and make it feel like a whole lot more.

House gets 2 noms: Best Drama, Best Actor (Hugh Laurie). I can't put my love for House into words. So I won't.

Sweeney Todd gets 4 noms: Best Musical/Comedy, Best Director (Tim Burton), Best Actor (Johnny Depp), and Best Actress (Helena Bonham Carter). I haven't seen it yet, but I'm going to, and it will be awesome.

Cate Blanchett gets nominated for Elizabeth II and I'm Not There. Umm...didn't see either of them. But I love Cate, and I really want to see I'm Not There.

Eh

The only two movies I've seen out of the Comedy/Musical and Drama nominees are Across the Universe and American Gangster. I was very ambivilant about both of them. Is it just me or has this year been kinda dry for movies? Atonement got a lot of nominations. I'd like to see it, mostly because of my admittedly strange fascination with James McAvoy, which was actually proven to be not so strange after all.

The only TV show I've seen out of the drama nominees is House. The rest just didn't really interest me. I once watched an episode of Big Love, but, as I've said before, Bill Paxton's acting gives me hives.

Miniseries and TV movies? Don't watch 'em, don't care.

The Fuck?!

The Office is snubbed! Okay, at least Steve Carrell got the nomination he rightly deserved, but even though I did think that season 3 was a little weak, I will flog anyone who says that Entourage is better. Oh, Entourage, how I loathe you.

Heroes is snubbed! Volume 2 was uneven at best, but Golden Globes are for the entire calendar year. Are they seriously telling me that the absolute awesomeness that was the last half of season 1 gets completely wiped away because season 2 was not so great? Lame! I recognize that people best remember the most recent things, but it still sucks. Look, Golden Globes, no matter what you do you cannot make me watch Grey's Anatomy or make me think that it is not a steaming pile of dog shit.

Bill Paxton gets nominated??? Dude. Hives. That's all.

ETA: Dude!! I just noticed that there's no FotC. *glowers* Now I'm kinda pissed, because that show was a truckload of kick-ass.

Lotsa random crap

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:40:00 GMT

Okay, so I didn't go to bed until after midnight last night, and I was wide awake at 4 this morning. That is your warning for the babbling incoherency that is to follow. Proceed with caution.

Yay!! Flight of the Conchords has a release date for their full-length album! Now I just have to find a way to get my FotC fix until April 22. Well, there is my EP that I've listened to over and over and over, and I do have the season 1 DVD to watch. Sigh. It'll still be 4 months, though. I wonder if they will have all new songs, or some of the ones from the TV show. I'm really hoping that they will have "Bret You've Got it Goin' On", "Frodo", and "Foux de Fa Fa". Ooh, and definitely "Hiphopopatamus vs. the Rhymenocerous". And "Bowie's in Space". Y'know...just put all the songs from Season 1 on there. Except for "Mermaids". I don't care much for "Mermaids". I apologize for the overabundance of links, but if you aren't familiar with FotC, at least click on one of the links--I would say either "Bret You've Got it Goin' On" or "Hiphopopatamus vs. the Rhymenocerous"--because they are hysterical.

I know, I already yakked about Cloverfield for too long yesterday, but I'm really starting to think that it looks pretty cool. They have a trailer on the movie website. The premise sounds kinda iffy to me, but the trailer looks cool enough, and Slusho! is intriguing enough that I'm there.

So, now that I've admitted that I will be watching "American Gladiators", I can admit that I checked out EW's feature on the Gladiators for the new installment. If I learned anything from this, it's that AG is gonna be cheese-tacular!! Crap-tastic!! I'm so psyched. I mean, they all take themselves so seriously! And the names? Wolf? Justice? Mayhem? Hellga? Bwahahahaha!!!! I do think that Siren is kinda hot, though. In a if-I-were-a-lesbian-I'd-let-you-be-on-top kinda way.

Out of all the movies coming out this Christmas, I'm most psyched for Sweeney Todd. Admittedly, I've never seen nor heard any version of it before, but the movie has all the makings to be completely awesome! Sondheim + Burton + well, the whole fuckin' cast = AWESOME! Plus, it's received some pretty good reviews so far. Can't wait.

Finally, Project Runway last night was excellent. They brought back Chris! Yay! I mean, he hasn't done anything I really loved since the purple dress from the first week, but he's so fun and nice! I thought the challenge was very innovative, and I could not believe the amount of weight some of those women had lost. Anyways, not too much to say about it except that Victorya is continuing her streak of being a bitch, Kevin's outfit was really cute, but I kinda agree that Christian did deserve to win, and I was soo happy that Steven got sent home. That outfit was horrible, and his constant squinting annoyed me.

I'm gonna go drink some caffeine now, and attempt to get through the day without going to sleep or running around like a mad woman, because sometimes that happens when I'm really tired.

Slusho! (and Cloverfield)

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:11:08 GMT

So, ever since Greg Beeman posted the Slusho! photos on his blog ("Cautionary Tales" entry), I've been incredibly curious about Slusho! Greg Yaitanes, the director of "Cautionary Tales" mentioned on the commentary that Slusho! was from Alias, and was going to play a big part in the upcoming Cloverfield movie. I discovered that Slusho! has a website, which is absolutely hilarious. The website even has a Japanese address. I haven't been following all the Cloverfield viral stuff, because I didn't really care much about it. I gotta say that all this Slusho! stuff has me intrigued. I saw some videos over on YouTube in which people are trying to dissect the clues in the Slusho! website and the trailers for the movie. Honestly, I'm too lazy to do all of that, and I really just don't care enough about the movie to put that much work into it. I can say for sure that if I do end up seeing Cloverfield, which seems pretty likely at this point, it will be almost entirely due to Slusho! with a little bit of help from J.J. Abrams.

And now there is a new Slusho! commercial out. Classic:

And some of my favorite Slusho! photos from Beaming Beeman:

Slusho! is for families.

Oh, Mohinder!! Slusho! is not a phone. You are so pretty.

Slusho! requires a police escort.

Oh Slusho! You so funny!

Slusho! has crossed the wrong man. He clearly did not see what happened to Ivan.

Nothing beats Beeman's caption for this, so I have to quote him: "Matt Parkman attempts to mindbend Slusho - an attempt doomed to failure!"

"What's with the Slusho! obsession?" you ask. Well, it makes me laugh. And that's all that really matters. Plus the shirts that they sell are cool looking. I've even had a Slusho! wallpaper on my laptop since Thanksgiving. So...yes. It's probably an obsession. But I'm okay with that.

ECotD 12/11

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 13:51:09 GMT

After nearly 3 weeks, I finally have a new Embarrassing Confession of the Day! Yay!

Confession: I will most likely be watching that new version of American Gladiators. Worse yet, I would've watched it even without the strike.

Justification: It's a guilty pleasure. A very guilty pleasure. I used to watch the original version when I was young, and I still watch it sometimes when it's on ESPN Classic. It's fun! People in ridiculous outfits with ridiculous names doing ridiculous things! And who doesn't love that big ball thing that has a name that I totally can't remember?

Ramification: Will have to pretend that I don't know who Turbo is or what the rules of Hang Tough are. Will also have to contain my excitement if they re-use the old American Gladiator theme. I might even have to DVR the show, and sneak outta bed to secretly watch it in the middle of the night, all alone with my shame.

Things I Really Shouldn't Be Thinking About When I'm Supposed to Be Working...Again

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:16:12 GMT

Okay, so I swore up and down that I was going to be ever so good and productive today, but, with the strike news I received over the weekend, I just really felt the need to do this:

23 Things I Will Do This Spring Instead of Watching TV

1. Petition the Pasdar to re-grow the Beard. It amuses me.
2. Learn to play the ukelele.
3. Create an entire city of Legos, then stomp my way through it, pretending I am Godzilla. *roar!!*
4. Re-watch the entire second volume of Heroes, screaming "Die, asshole, die!!!" everytime West is on-screen.
5. Just start walking north to see how long it would take to get to Canada.
6. Construct an elaborate, all-encompassing Heroes theory in which Mr. Muggles is the real villain. (It's already half done.)
7. Write a musical version of the X-Files.
8.  Actually watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy only to discover that I was absolutely correct in mocking it sight unseen.
9.  Take a cross-country trip to evaluate the cleanliness of gas station bathrooms.
10.  Sneak into a grocery store late at night and plant laxatives in every bottle Pepto Bismol.
11. Write a screenplay about a pie who becomes a cop. It will be creatively titled "Pie Cop".
12. Mourn for Arrested Development. Again. Some more.
13. Attempt to appreciate Bill Paxton's body of work. Resulting hives will have me bedridden for the summer.
14. Cry.
15. Hire a scientist to discover the exact formula that makes Adrian Pasdar so fucking hot.
16. Make lots of stupid lists. Okay, lots more stupid lists.
17. Re-write every Bob Dylan song to include the word "throbbing".
18. Run for President on the platform of Free Cupcakes for Everyone.
19. Design a dress made entirely of cheese.
20. Become an internet superstar by making a YouTube video that is 37 minutes of me doing the chicken dance.
21. Throw out all booze and vow to attend all family functions completely sober. Halfway through first function, I regret decision when I have to see my mother dance. I discover it's 10 times worse when you are sober. I head out to nearest liquor store, purchase, then immediately down, entire fifth of SoCo. Suddenly my mother's dancing is only cringe-worthy.
22. Rename myself Lady Meriweather von Farkenschnitzel and speak in horrible, vaguely European accent in an attempt to convince everyone that I am a refined society lady.
23. Build a life-sized statue of Dr. Phil, then climb to the top of the highest building around and push it off. Then I discover that 4 stories really isn't high enough to properly destroy it, so I book a flight to NYC only to discover that Statue Dr. Phil is too large to be a carry-on item, so I have to buy him his own ticket. He sits next to me on the plane, but everyone wants to talk to him, and can't understand why he's keeping his stupid trap shut, for once. I explain that Dr. Phil is suffering from a terrible case of tetanus, and we are traveling to NYC to find a cure for lockjaw. When they still won't leave us alone, I start screaming incoherently until they all leave. We finally arrive in NYC, and it is past midnight so the Empire State Building is closed, and we have to get a hotel room. The clerk at the front desk doesn't believe me that Statue Dr. Phil isn't a real person, and forces me to pay for two people. When we finally retire to our room, I prop Statue Dr. Phil up in the corner, but find that I can't sleep with his beady little eyes boring into me all night long. In the morning, exhausted and sleep deprived, I drag Statue Dr. Phil down to the subway, and am forced to buy a token for him. After a very long subway ride, punctuated by more requests for advice from Statue Dr. Phil, we finally arrive at the Empire State Building. I try to board the elevator to the observation deck, and am told that Dr. Phil has been banned from the Empire State Building Observation Deck since the last time he came he peed off of it. Feeling defeated, Statue Dr. Phil and I return to the street. I decide that Statue Dr. Phil would make an excellent rent boy, and create a strategically placed hole for that purpose. I then spend the next few months acting as Statue Dr. Phil's pimp, and make enough money that Statue Dr. Phil and I retire to the mountains just as the new TV season starts. When Heroes returns, Statue Dr. Phil mourns for the loss of Niki, and laments the return of Nathan, so I shoot him in the head.

Damn! Double damn!

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 12:33:41 GMT

After two weeks of negotiations, the strike talks have collapsed.

I'm probably way more distressed about this than I should be, but I hate reality tv, except Project Runway, and this, along with NBC's recently released winter schedule, makes it fairly certain that we won't get any more Heroes til September. That fucking sucks. How would such a long hiatus affect a show that is already suffering from dwindling ratings? This could put a screeching halt on any momentum the show's built up in the last few episodes (although, "Truth & Consequences" may have already done that). I can't imagine that waiting 9 months to reveal Nathan's fate would be very good, either. I think that many fans who are already on the fence about returning for volume 3 might just get frustrated and not return.

I don't want the writers to settle for less than what they deserve, I just wish the strike would end already. I feel so much animosity for the AMPTP, the networks, and movies studios for being so hard-headed. It also upsets me that a lot of people have made statements about how greedy the writers are. I don't see what is greedy about asking for your fair share. I think a lot of people are ill-informed about the details of the strike and are jumping to their own incorrect conclusions.

Anyway, it's too early in the morning to be thinking so hard, and I haven't had my breakfast yet. I was just hoping to get some of my grrrr out before I have to go Christmas shopping. I really hate Christmas shopping.

I'm that pure? Really?

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 19:55:55 GMT

My score on The 3-Variable Purity Test:

PURITY: 63% sex, 45% substance, 66% moral [60% total]

Well done! The higher your scores, the more "pure" you are. The lower, the more you've experienced. This test was about done deeds, so your numbers will never climb. [It's interesting to think they all started at 100%.] But will your purity continue to fall? Will you OUTGROW or will you OUTDO your past experiences? It's up to you. Advisory: Don't date anyone if your moral purities differ by more than 30%. Don't run a business with anyone if your substance purities differ by more than 40%. Do be friends with someone who has less than 1/2 your sex purity. You'll enjoy their colorful company. Note: as for the "TOTAL" purity value - that's a weighted combination of your scores, indicating what a typical purity test might say about you.

Link: The 3-Variable Purity Test (OkCupid Free Online Dating)

Substance. Duh!

Even more TIRSBTAWIStBW

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:23:42 GMT

Yay for more Things I Really Shouldn't Be Thinking About When I'm Supposed to Be Working!

I've been meaning to do this one since Tuesday and here it is finally:

23 Reasons Why Nathan Can't Die

Foolishly optimistic? No! Shut up! He will never die! Ever!

1. Peter would snap and kill everyone.
2.  If Matt can survive four bullets to the chest, surely Nathan can survive two.
3. Unlike most of the other characters who have been killed off, Nathan has a huge fanbase, and Kring and co. are too smart to alienate their fanbase.
4. Nathan is so hot that he makes bullets melt.
5. Fangirl force of will!
6. Dude, Peter's the most powerful person ever. He's got to do something! Save your ~~lover~~ brother, Peter!
7.  Hiro would cry, and nobody wants to make Hiro cry.
8. The show is about the Petrellis, and it can't function without them. (I know some people might argue with me about this, but I firmly believe it.)
9. Now that West the Flying Stalker is gone, we need to keep Nathan around as the sole Flying Man. Yes, Peter can fly, too, but if Nathan were to die (which he won't!), Peter would never fly again.
10. We still need to see "Company Man: Petrelli Edition", and that wouldn't be as effective without Nathan.
11. Without the BroYay, the world will never be saved again and we will all perish horribly. We need the BroYay!!
12. The Beard isn't gone, merely lurking in the shadows and waiting for the right moment to leap out and defend its owner.
13. That wasn't blood! It was...ketchup! Yes, Nathan was holding a bottle of ketchup when he was giving the speech and the shooter merely shot the bottle, not Nathan, causing the ketchup to spill all over his shirt.
14. Out of the 15 other instances when people got shot, only 6 of them stayed dead. (And 3 were in an alternate future, so they really shouldn't count.) Gotta go with the odds here.
15. Maya lives and Nathan dies? That would just be wrong. So very wrong.
16. Has not had a confrontation with HRG yet, and doesn't know that he adopted Claire. A scene with Pasdar and Coleman is too good to waste.
17. Lick/Bite/Spank trilogy would be broken!! Lick Mohinder, Bite Peter, and then...nothing!! Who would I spank if Nathan was gone?!
18. If Nathan were to die, it would completely throw off kilter the show's balance of awesome, and eventually cause Heroes to implode due to not enough awesome.
19.  Nathan needs a proper reconciliation with Claire. Plus, they won't make Claire go through mourning again. There's been enough of that.
20.  There was a severe lack of Shirtless!Nathan this season. That must be corrected next season, perhaps with Shirtless!BroYay!! I'm already drooling.
21.  For Christmas, I asked for Nathan not to be dying. I've been a very good girl this year, so Santa is contractually obligated to grant my wish. Santa never reneges on a deal.
22.  Nathan is actually a cowboy vampire and cannot be killed by bullets.
23. In a recent interview, Pasdar said that the strike actually came at a good time for him, since he can now co-direct his musical Atlanta. Which means that, prior to the strike, he was still going to be working on the show! Therefore, Nathan is not dead!

Wow. That was the most difficult list of 23 that I've done yet! Big thanks to my lil' sis for her suggestions. Let no one ever doubt Nathan's survival ever again!

A little bit on Project Runway

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 21:14:31 GMT

Enjoyed last night's episode, the challenge was much more fun than last week. Besides, team projects are always good for major drama. I wasn't particularly overwhelmed by any of the outfits, but I guess that's to be expected when they are designing based on outdated trends. However, I was very upset that they chose to send Chris home instead of Ricky. Ricky is looking to be the Angela of this season, sucking hard and constantly ending up in the bottom two only to get a reprieve every week. Please, just send him home already. Sigh. I loved Chris. Sure, he hasn't done anything as spectacular as the beautiful purple dress from the first challenge, but he was fun and nice and truly seemed to enjoy being there. Well, here's hoping that Ricky marches out the door next week, although he'll probably cry the whole time.

Last night, Bravo was running one of their 4 weekly PR marathons. When I turned it on, it was the very end of season 1. This prompted me to remember 2 things. 1 - How much I absolutely and completely hate Wendy Pepper. How did someone of such non-existent talent make it to the final 3? Plus, what a bitch! 2 - How much I absolutely and completely loved Jay's collection. I don't know if I can explain why, but it was probably my favorite collection from the show ever. There really wasn't a ton in the collection I would actually wear, apart from a couple of adorable skirts, there was just something so powerful about it. And it really did seem to represent him, as opposed to getting inspiration from outside sources. I don't think that any of the winners since then have matched it yet. I did love Chloe, but her final collection was very 'eh' to me, and I have absolutely no love for Jeffrey, though his collection was better than almost anything he did during the course of the show--I really wanted Uli to win.

Also, is there nothing more delicious than Captain and Dr. Pepper? No. I didn't think so. Maybe I'll ship them! It could be Captain/Dr. Yes...very nice. I have problems, don't I?

Note to self: Don't venture out into fandom ever again.

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 17:28:06 GMT

Sigh. I wish fandom didn't exhaust me so much. I do enjoy when I can go out and get some different perspectives other than my own, but why does it so often have to turn into finger pointing and name-calling? We all love the same show, we just love it in different ways. People who love Nathan and would be crushed if he were gone are no better or worse than those who feel the same way about Niki or Maya. I've seen a multitude of comments from people who are upset that Nathan's potential death has affected more people than Niki, or, reaching further back, DL, Isaac, or Simone. I have expressed my love for Nathan before, and it's not because he is a white male, or even because he is hot. It is because there is something in his personality that I both connect with and feel needs representation on the show.

I've also seen many people lamenting the popularity and/or treatment of POC's on the show. I love the characters that I love not because of their sex, race, or ethnicity, but because of their personalities. I cannot answer for the way that the writers/producers have chosen to present the characters of color, because, in all honesty, I have not focused on that. I've watched the show and focused on the plot. I will admit that some POC's have gotten the shaft, plotwise, but they aren't the only ones. Many fans have expressed the idea that merely representing minorities is not good enough, and I do see the point, but how many popular TV programs can you find that really make an attempt to have characters of such varied backgrounds? Plus, I really hate the idea of saying to producers "You need to give Mohinder better plots because he is Indian." That reeks of reverse discrimination. Of course, it's an entirely different thing if you are saying "give Mohinder better plots because I like his character and do not think he has been fairly represented."

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but it feels that a lot of people are suggesting that we should love all the characters equally. I'm sorry, but that's just not practical. If I think that Simone is more boring than watching paint dry, I should be allowed to think that without being made to feel guilty for not liking a black female. Same goes with Maya. I don't much care for her story, and I feel that they could've integrated her into the plot much better. She seems melodramatically overemotional and the dialogue she has been forced to utter has been clunky, at best. I should be allowed to dislike her and wish to see her off the show without it turning into a question of why I hate Latinas. I don't, and if they can find a way to make her character more palatable, I will welcome her with open arms.

In short, how 'bout you like what you like, I like what I like, and we stop with the fighting and name-calling? It's a fandom, people can join or leave whenever they want.